I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
