She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
