Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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