I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
