okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
