Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me

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(607): View more from New York

Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.

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(323): View more from California

BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"

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(309): View more from Illinois

Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.

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(240): View more from Maryland

A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room

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(702): View more from Nevada

This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.

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