We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
