Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
