did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
