this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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