I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
