just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
