If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
