nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
