Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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