3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did I show you my penis last night?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
