he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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