Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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