Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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