Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
