I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
