how can u be prego again
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
