Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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