I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
