Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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