what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
