the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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