The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
