I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I love you.
Bad choice
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
