Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
