Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
