i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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