apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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