quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize
