She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
