I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
