Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
