so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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