Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
