He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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