I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
