What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
