My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sext me about skeletons
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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