just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
