Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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