i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want nice things and good sex
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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