just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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