She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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