You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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