She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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